Longing #Haiku

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Over excited
my dreams roam too far from me
trampling lush heather

Often in springtime
scents of favourite flowers
push back to winter

Walking though the world
hand in hand with nature’s woes
a cool breeze still blows

Privileged to touch
rough, wrinkled bodies of logs
reminds me of life

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I’M SO CLOSE – HELP me round off 2018 and my JustGiving target of £1,000! Let’s beat cancer sooner. Would you support me in raising funds – every little bit helps – even the price of your next coffee?

In aid of CR

Hi,

I’m using the run up to the holidays to ask friends for their support and ask if you would donate a small amount by using my donation button below (any country) or text BGON64 to 70070 (for those here in the UK) to give whatever you can (even the price of a solitary cuppa) to help Cancer Research and Breast Cancer Research. As a breast cancer survivor, I can sincerely say that your help is more than appreciated.

Cancer Research is not government funded and is responsible for a high percentage of the major breakthroughs we have seen to date.   One of those drugs saved my life. Without you and me, those breakthroughs will not happen. Regardless of the amount or where you live in this world, your generosity will one day give the gift of life.

On the JustGiving page, you will find verification. It will also tell you all about my story, reasons and action plan I’ve used and for the foreseeable future.  As you will read, I had a set back due to illness, but will be continuing and getting out there in 2019!

Thank you very much!

Anita

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Notification brings me in

hands conserv

I’m apparently celebrating  three years of WordPress, which also means, I am reminded of the reason for my blog and the bare, three years without my dad.  But, please, when you find yourself there, do not despair;  remember that life happens.  It is what it is.  Enjoy your life, regardless.  I know he would be thrilled that I have embraced more than he ever saw as an inclination within me.  I got married.  I continued to write, became published, even became the activist in word and deed.  He always saw that, but I did not.

I don’t have it in me at present to write.  I could reblog, but for me, that doesn’t always  matter.   What does matter is that the souls of the young are not tarnished, not disillusioned by life in whatever form it manifests.   I can just ask from experience that you – love it, live it, create, and be your best to help this world and those that inhabit it.  We are ALL sentient beings with feelings.  To that end, we must campaign, build a better life for us and those without a voice.  We need to campaign,  petition and nag our political parties to eradicate endless suffering of us and our animal counterparts.   We should not be allowed to rule with impunity… simply because we can!  Climate change is real as is death and taxes.  Learn from it.  Use it.  If only to leave behind common decency.

Golden yellow cups
dressing the fields in harmony
soon drowned in water

Tickets Please!

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Chances should come with stickers –
carrying instructions, like which buttons to press,
which way to turn
and how to survive those innocuous bouts
of life that intercede,

with their damp edges that peel way
and which always leave me stuck,
with nought but a panoply of wetness;

extremities made of stodge and glue,
at the very point where I thought
my life would start, until
I’d always dig a bit more,
only to find I had no real chance at all.

So, I have nothing.
On most days, I lift a dirty nail
to scape that crimped and lifeless
pape mache, only to reveal
the plastic drudge of the rain soaked window,
on this bus going nowhere –

to be fair, this bus takes me places
while I sleep, and feel safe,
and where I can sometimes peep under the skirtings
of life’s bitter edge without having
to peel it away.  Most days.

Ultimately, the traffic of heavy breath
unwittingly peels away the crudities
waiting for me once I get off;
such is the nature of rain soaked passengers
and do gooders all mixing to make my life hell.

Mindless Control

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Psychedelics-writingasitcomes-drugs

Looking out
on this piss pouring, cloudy day,

I find it hard to unravel.

My life,
inside this invidious smog,

includes those many ubiquities and other tawdry, awkward bits,
often unkind to my demeanour.
And, as a consequence, they are always sent reeling.

But then, I tend to reel them inland –
from LSD to intense, or
merely simple chats,
until nothing will rival that
unwinding, mind bending
anecdote of inner self and healing whilst reeling.

“If I am not myself,
then how can others
see me?

To me,
it was, and still is
a revelation.”

But looking out today
on this rainy morning,
I still feel nothing inspiring –

so  I drain away this fancy
and torturous pain,
to  at least allow me to see the question

of Who I am,

and how that makes me feel…

Ok,  I see.

Looking out
on this piss pouring, cloudy day,

I find it hard to unravel.

Dreaded Whispers

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Cotinus Young Lady-SmokeBush-writingasitcomes

Been gardening again… love this plant.

Strokes of moonlight smother
the inflorescent
whispers of the smoke bush

wavering against twilight’s
ghostly dreams
while pondering the water,
pondering depth and death.

Subdued, hushed panicles warp,
subtly interwoven
inside black steel ripples
made by water splashed sedge warblers
flung across the sheen of bleak, black,
stretched canvas

where streaks of my childhood run
wildly ‘til they bleed into the perfect wash –
disrupted only briefly by daubs of
my more morbid notions –

a thousand indigo butterflies
dotted like inky death
become pinned to the eerie flatness of water
and of life –

finally, my drowning memories
are absorbed by stagnant fluid –
the whispers are hushed in the black, dead air
where mosquitoes live instead,
and for the first time, I begin to thrive.

Parallaxed

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Memories are slim chance shadows
That glide between the light and darkness

Imagination is a fat cat
Waiting to swell our indifferences

Hope is a ritual seizing of every chance we have
Breathing is an exercise performed daily

Waiting is a nervous habit, what are we waiting for?
Doom is nearby and calling cards are left

Defiantly… What are we going to do?

If you don’t believe the earth is not flat
Or that it revolves around the sun…

Go away.