3grief2I feel like I have been hit by a truck and someone else is feeling all of the pain. I can’t thank them enough for that. It’s like I am treading water waiting for the sharks to come. The more weary I grow, and the more blood spills, they will probably come – such is the nature of grief.
It feels like my heart is breaking before it sinks, while being manically held aloft with another kind of love. I’m trying to fill gaps like plugging a boat full of holes that is somehow kept afloat, until it finally sinks due to a sad lacking.
I am not unique, and I know this happens to everybody at some point when we find ourselves the reluctant passenger on a journey through a process, but I will be glad if somewhere on the way; before this journey’s end, I can stop to remember and smile and  not just wait to be bitten.
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Siren

Floating happily alone on my mind’s shapeless ocean
Till your mind sets sail and steers,
drawing me with your words to lovelorn rocks.
Sail beside me, sail beside me,
Hear the call,
I am here, here I am
Impatiently waiting –
your boat will breach,
and I will reach,
despite you shy away from sorrow.

Clouds like a seascape waft their potions,
I am caught like a helpless child
breathing words but my boat is leaning.
Keep a distance, keep a distance,
Ignore the singing,
I will drown, I will drown.
I am sinking
as you enfold me,
my broken bones reach
despite you said you’d keep me from sorrow.

Sea foam and its spurious memories claim me,
Mocking my buoyancy and I weaken.
It is too late now, for swimming would beat me,
do not touch me, please do not touch me.
Hear my wishes
As I drown, as I drown
I am not afraid
as I lay like a trapped oyster,
and despite you prize me apart,
my broken bones can no longer feel the sorrow.

Waves become my wings and they lift me from my tears,
I look down to flailing arms, soon at rest.
Smiles break through the storm clad sky,
relieved at such a calm sea.
My heart breaks, breaks in two,
but still it holds me buoyant.
I feel weightless and free
as my shackles disappear,
sinking deeply near the breakers,
all that is left to see is your figure holding in the sorrow.

sea sirens