Chronic Canvas

chronic cnavas

Picture: Jay Nabonne

charcoal clouds smudged by thumbs
once haughty –
leaned before angled perpendicular
with promises of black line afterlife; mid air

heady, hung like his smokers’ lungs –
fringed, black laced –
grieving for some time
and for something sinister – brooding
but not quite imagined, not quite
realised on life’s stark canvas
where thumbs are shadow puppets
still stuck in contemplation.

how does one recreate visions of the dying,
and paint death’s culprit edges, dimly
lit by shadows inside wheezing
last breaths?

smoke filters fraying cushions
of shape shifting disease –
hidden, toxically poised – exhaled,
life is spent nervous energy and regrets –
all bad scions; not a good wash for pretty
pastels caught in a ridiculous tango
with painter, thumb and a wispy capacity
of mournful oxygen rattling alone on canvas.

 

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Author: Anita Lubesh

I write poetry/prose/stories/short stories/verses for children/sketch/and have 6 chapters of a novel sitting there like that half eaten trifle in the fridge or bottle of Jack Daniels because something makes you afraid to eat it or drink... right now.. I am a proud Geordie from England's northern hemisphere and the beautiful city of Newcastle upon Tyne. I live with my lovely husband who came all the way from sunny California just for me, and my favourite animal, Bobble, our dog. I am a member of Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth and wish we could all do more, especially today, when such a lot is wrong.

39 thoughts on “Chronic Canvas”

    1. Oh, ok. Firstly, let me thank you for the work you have done. My mother died of lung cancer 7 years ago and I looked after her at home when she was released by the hospital for a while before she went for respite and she never came back. I try to raise funds for such places as I feel they are vital and non supported where it matters. The poem came about with my husband’s photograph we had been working in the garden, it just took me back to her and all those fighting for their lives. It is devastating as you will well appreciate. Thank you for reading also, much appreciated.

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    1. Thank you for thinking of me, Michael. I will certainly ponder it. I hate submitting anywhere and get quite lazy/intimidated by having to choose submissions and I get..the ooo I only have 5 shots syndrome and panicky lol.

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      1. Me too. You will be a shoe in. The trick is, submit submit, submit! Robert Okaji once told me the key is to find those Publications that feel like a conversation with the style of your poetry.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The more I go on with this I find I’m not abstract enough in most quarters, half the time I have no idea what they mean in their poetry and what editors are looking for. I read through issues as you do, beforehand and think, nah I do not fit. But, as you say, the best way is to keep trying and find those outfits. Good luck with your endeavours too.

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      3. I think that’s why I thought of you as soon as I saw that because I’m exactly the same way. I decided that I’m going to go ahead and start submitting regularly and consider it rejection a step closer to successful publication and making a steady income from my poetry. I see you as a talented poet s and I hope you do the same with your writing but I get it.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thank you, Michael. This is similar to the Artist’s and Writer’s Years Book I have. I submitted a poem to one from the list you gave me earlier asking for speculative poetry so I sent one in after I tweaked it. Easy when I only have one lol. But I will go through some more later too.

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      5. I don’t mind it raining those..but yeah, we will see. I am shortlisting some poems for Eclectica. I have been waiting months for September subs so we will see then too. Once I make up my mind I am fine but hate the process. Your encouragement motivated me and made me think properly today, so in for a penny..

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      6. Good deal. For what it’s worth, you got “the stuff.”
        And so you don’t think me a hypocrite, you already do better than me in this department.
        You CAN get paid if you approach submissions as a business practice. (Note to self) 😁.
        Good luck, Anita. Perseverance is key and I plan to start practicing what I preach.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Money isn’t key for me, nor is fame as I am a private person that bit daunts me. Also at the back of it my husband thinks this is why I don’t push myself and I agree. But thank you for saying that. I have to keep honing my own style (doubt I have one) and stop trying to be what editors think they want lol. But I will submit (good choices and bad ones) to wherever and see what happens…the average response time drives me crazy – but I have to beat my hang ups, lol. So do you submit ona regular basis then?

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      8. A) fiercely private too. B) NEED the income that would result from it, and no, I don’t think my writing is good enough. That has to change, and I have to finish my novels.
        Up for an informal pact to keep each other’s feet to the fire? Writing buddy type of stuff?

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      9. Sure that sounds fine. Also I never thought poetry was synonymous with making money. Publishers are notorious for taking on those which can make the money- poetry has always come a poor third. We work better posthumously.
        I wouldn’t say good enough, different we are all different. Like all things we need to practise and learn and hone our skills…one poet’s example of experience was, on average we can expect to spend a good five or more years just to prepare a reasonable manuscript whilst honing and accumulating a good CV history of magazine subs etc., to prove to them that we are worthy, and reassurance in terms of commitment. Then there is the other poet who is **** hot, and gets snapped up without any of that. and a lot of it hinges on marketability and good editors.

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      10. Agreed. You’re correct, we won’t get wealthy, but we can earn a living from something we are already doing, well, enjoy doing, and most of all, has value & worth in society at large.
        Okay. Email me any time. This is too cumbersome. I have your email. I got it from the comments pages when I had to look up hard to find collaborators. The good kind, poetry collaborators.

        Take care.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I like the interplay of painting & poetry in this piece. And I always feel your poems are never smudged flat, one can feel the rough dimension of words always cracking open where we press our thumb. Go Anita!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very dark yet graphic I lost my husband to cancer two years ago and this stirred too many suppressed sentiments.The picture complements the tone. At a loss for words but it strikes deep.

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    1. Sorry for you loss, Veena. . This came froma the pic my husband took and for me it just took me back to my mother who I nursed before she died from lung cancer a few years ago. The clouds were strange that day. Thanks for you thoughts too.

      Liked by 1 person

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